It saddens me beyond words to witness so many of our youth so anxious to jump into the arms of Big Brother, all for a bit of sucker and comfort for the price of a nickel, government minions, serfs and whores all too willing to betray everything good and decent about America and in fact destroy Her completely. No matter that the Charlie Kirk movement may reveal a bit of a trend back towards the America of Her founding, we still see far too many indoctrinated poltroons who know not what it is that they do not know – and who do not care so long as the federal government is continuously forced to fund their lifestyle on the backs of the producers, those who would see all America turned into queers, deviants, Muslims and communists if only the Democratic Party Communists of the same cloth as Zohran Mamdani could have their way.

America patriots must never stop trying to correct course in America. They must set aside regret and resignation and try, try, try, as they wrestle with the demons of this world, honoring the image of God in which we were all created. They must never fall for the Big Lie that it is conservative Christian America at fault for the situation as it persists or that they and America are somehow beyond redemption for past sins. They must never succumb to apathy and cynicism, and they must continue the hard fight with hope, determination and love for America.

We cannot and must not allow the Democrat Party Communists to write America’s final chapter. The resurrection of traditional America’s virtues and principles must be shouted across the land in this world and society that now seemingly only believes in moral rot and decay, reveling and dancing with joy in its immoral nature. ~ J.O.S.

Liberty and the Mirrors of My Mind ~

I Wish I Were a Better Man

I wish I were a better man. And I do try. But I am what I am – a son of God and a walking, talking contradiction.

How many times I have stayed my hand from killing a man from fear for my immortal soul, I can no longer count. Many readers may possibly relate, as they too struggle with inner battles and the everyday battles, that we all face that come to us from many arenas within our own government and society and those living abroad who wish ill for all Americans.

No hypocrite here, I freely admit to my own deep flaws which I have fought to correct throughout the many long years. And although I keep my heart open with love for all of America’s people, my heart has yet been scarred by the knowledge that many walk this land with malice in the hearts for everything good and decent that made America and Her exceptional nature possible. No saint either, I claim full responsibility for all my actions, for better or worse, across numerous decades, for my children, for my convictions, and for the sacred duty I believe is incumbent upon all to defend what is good in this world, even when the world always seems to demand we be meek, mild, passive and submissive, no matter the evil that presents itself.

In the quiet hours of reflection, when the noise of modernity fades and the soul stands bare before its Creator, a man may come to know himself not as perfect, but as striving – always striving. Not as sanctimonious saint, but as son. Not as peacekeeper, but as protector. This is the paradox of the American soul – a soul that for most – I believe, those good and decent folks amongst us – was forged in liberty, tempered by loss, and driven by love.

One of our people’s worst sins has been the betrayal of themselves and all that was good before them to serve the immoral fads of society and the Leviathan, and as our situation remains the same, never made better, the weight of self-betrayal their worst sin is that they have destroyed and betrayed themselves for nothing.

Many others may feel they have failed and betrayed themselves in being unable to prevent the slide of America into so desperate a situation and ultimate decline, sensing they should have followed a different path, a more ambitious one. The good and righteous men and women of America feel they were destined for other things, a better way of life, but often they have had no idea how to achieve them, and in our misery, created by those who hate us and hate America, we have grown to hate every unclean, anti-American, ungodly thing around us.

These are not literary laments. They are mirrors – dark, cracked, and unflinchingly honest.

And into that mirror steps the voice of my own conscience: “I wish I were a better man. And I do try. But I am what I am – a son of God and a walking, talking contradiction.”

The last line in that quote holds more theology than a thousand sermons. It is the confession of a man who knows his origin and his dust. It is a cry of Paul in Romans 7: “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep doing.” It is the paradox of grace: that we are both broken and beloved, both fallen and called.

What binds these utterances together is not some mere bit of melancholy, but their shared anatomy of the soul and what so many other people experience over the course of a lifetime: the ache of unrealized potential, the torment of self-awareness, and the stubborn ember of hope that refuses to die. Hope and torment and anger also stoked by constant demands, no, even commands that we violate our own conscience, commands from vile bureaucrats, social influencers and certain government agencies from within various local and state governments.

For those few or many, who made their way through this life unmoored from any real convictions and solid virtues and principles, Kris Kristofferson, renown American songwriter, exemplifies their quandary in his vastly popular country song, ‘Pilgrim’:

“See him wasted on the sidewalk in his jacket and his jeans
Wearin’ yesterday’s misfortunes like a smile
Once he had a future full of money, love, and dreams
Which he spent like they was goin’ outta style
And he keeps right on a’changin’ for the better or the worse
Searchin’ for a shrine he’s never found
Never knowin’ if believin’ is a blessin’ or a curse
Or if the goin’ up was worth the comin’ down
He’s a poet, and he’s a picker
He’s a prophet, he’s a pusher
He’s a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he’s stoned
He’s a walkin’ contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction
Takin’ ev’ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home”

So many Americans, especially our youth, are so far removed from the very virtues and principles upon which America was founded, that they have ultimately failed themselves, their families and loved ones and the country on the whole. They haven’t just failed – they aren’t merely failing in the here and now – they have betrayed their own possibilities, their futures and their sacred responsibilities, as they bray their illiberal, tyrannical, immoral idiocies to the Heavens as if to dare God to strike them dead where they stand, if not because they are lost souls but because they are already dead inside, mere husks of humans barely recognizable as humans as they set about destroying everything good and decent and the society in which they take up valuable space to everybody else’s detriment.

The ungodly among us keep dangling temptation in front of all. They live envious, greedy, lustful, licentious, deviant, vile and murderous lifestyles as if these are something everyone should desire, holding them up as some sort of gold standard everyone should seek to emulate. And as such, they move our people to desecrate their own moral compass, in the manner of some false prophet, silencing the better angels so many once heard but now lock out of mind. The sin is not in failing or even falling, but rather it’s in the falling for no reason, in choosing ruin over redemption without even the cold comfort of purpose.

To be a pilgrim in this age is to reject the seductions of comfort and conformity. It is to walk with intention through a world that has lost its way, seeking not ease but real meaning. One need not follow the crowd, if only he will choose to follow the call. And that call, for me, is the voice of God, the whisper of my conscience, and the cry of my children’s future.

Although ‘Reflections’ is a song about lost love, the following verses seem to go well towards describing how many of us feel about losing the America of yesteryear, traditional America if you will. These words exemplify the hurt one feels over seeing one’s country destroyed bit by bit:

“Through the mirror of my mind
Through these tears that I’m crying
Reflects a hurt I can’t control
‘Cause although you’re gone, I keep holding on
To the happy times, ooh, when you were mine”

Even now as many of us fight to rekindle and revive traditional America, modern society would have us trade our souls for screens, our convictions for convenience, and our legacy for likes. People must reject this path and choose a different road – one carved by the footsteps of our ancestors, who believed in liberty, in truth, and the sacredness of family. I walk for them. I walk for my children. I walk this path of my own for the America I still believe in and love so well.

In the echo of past grief and hope for all, I wrote the words, “I wish I were a better man“, not in weakness but through a strength that still resides at the center of my being, whereby I still believe I can do better and so too can every man, woman and child in America. It speaks to the tension between America’s divine beginnings and human frailty – and it is not a flaw to be eradicated. It is the very terrain of the soul’s journey. To be a “walking, talking contradiction” is to be alive in the fullest sense: a creature of electricity sparking between our synapses and a creature of dust and breath, of longing and limitation, simply needing the best guidance from one’s earliest childhood days from mother and father in order to escape the cycle of contradiction for conviction sooner rather than later.

If the Charlie Kirk movement sweeping the land is any real indication, it appears that many more Americans have been made aware and understand there exists a better path ahead for all.

America’s children must know what truly matters, and they must be raised with a fine-tuned sense of who they are and instilled with truth and convictions that will best serve them throughout the entirety of their lives. They must know what it means to truly be free.

In a world that teaches them to doubt themselves, to dilute their values, and to outsource their identity to algorithms, America’s parents must teach them to stand firm and strong in their righteous convictions. To think. To truly love. To fight with guns, knives, and fists and anything else necessary to remain free, but most importantly to first and always fight through their logic, reason and faith – sometimes through a moral rage and a righteous anger, but always with sound reason and purpose. Not from a position of despair, but through a position of strength of will, determination and dignity as a free born American.

However, the violence in the world that also currently rages across America cannot and must not be ignored. Evil is not a metaphor; it is a reality in the world we inhabit. And no matter how hard I try to be a good man, being “good” doesn’t mean becoming a victim to those who would love nothing better than to witness our deaths or forego our God-given right to a righteous self-defense using any weapon at my disposal to exact the same. No matter God’s commandments, I cannot – and will not – turn the other cheek time and again when those I love are threatened. Whatever sense of duty and self-preservation exists within me, my understanding and motives are not bloodthirsty or reckless. I am moved by a righteous intent to battle and defeat evil, no matter the corner of society that spawns it.

To defend is not to destroy. To protect is not to provoke. But whenever a line is crossed — when innocence is endangered, when liberty is assaulted – American warriors must rise, in recognition of their duty and obligation. Arm yourselves and fight for the covenant you have made with your own children, with God, and with the truth.

To love America is to wrestle with Her. To hold Her leaders accountable. But it is also to defend Her — not just from enemies abroad, but from enemies-from-within and Her people’s apathy too. I will not surrender Her to cynicism. I will not abandon her to corruption. I will fight for Her soul, because in so doing, I fight for my own.

The fruit of a life well lived is a life lived with integrity, courage and love. Whatever legacy I may leave behind, it won’t be seen in monuments or medals; it will be found in the hearts of my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren in the stories they will tell and in the strength they will carry. I want them to know that I was flawed, yes – but faithful. That I struggled just like every man, yes – but still stood strong and proud.

I want them to inherit more than just assets I may leave behind. I want them to inherit my same fierce spirit, not just my name but my nature. I want them to understand that being a better man and woman is not a destination, but a direction. And that every step taken in truth, in love, and in liberty is worth taking.

Sometimes in the fight to simply survive, this fight to live free, our failures do not need to be self-destructive or end in the betrayal of ourselves, so long as we keep right on trying, stumbling through our contradictions to rise from the ashes finally in success and victory for what is right and true in our life. It’s never a wasted fight for nothing, if it’s fought out of love for family, God and country.

Be a man who has bled for his children and America and has known what if feels like to weep for a good Sweet Mutt. Be a man with a clear path towards real freedom and liberty for all, a man who has chosen the narrow path, even when it disappears into the trees – just trying to make his lonely way back home.

October 22, 2025

~ the Author ~
Justin O. Smith Has Lived in Tennessee Off and on Most of His Adult Life, and Graduated From Middle Tennessee State University in 1980, With a B.S. And a Double Major in International Relations and Cultural Geography – Minors in Military Science and English, for What Its Worth. His Real Education Started From That Point on. Smith Is a Frequent Contributor to the Family of Kettle Moraine Publications.