Our neighbor, a little girl age 10, is moving away. She wanted to tell us that she won’t be around anymore to play or sleepover because she is moving two days before Christmas Eve.
While telling us this difficult situation, she broke out in tears because her mom said Christmas will be canceled this year due to the effort and stress of moving. She is also a Christmas Eve baby (her birthday is the 24th) which means zero birthday presents either.
My girlfriend and I just stared at each other in shock. How can a mom do this to her only child? We invited her in to help put up the last Christmas decorations around the house and asked her more about this sad situation.
Due to her mom’s legal issues, she does not have a car or a license to drive. On top of that, her mom can not afford their apartment anymore and that they (mom and our neighborhood little girl) are moving in with their aunt.
She started crying even harder and asked my girlfriend to be her mommy and asked why does God hate her this much. She also asked if she could be here for Christmas.
We sat her down on the couch by the Christmas tree and began to do our best as adults possibly can during a kid’s crisis.
Our response went like this:
“We cannot choose our parents nor can we choose their behaviors or actions. But we can choose to forgive or not to forgive. We can choose to accept the things we cannot change and choose to accept the things we can change. We can choose to not let actions and decisions out of our control effect our own mental health. The only thing we can do is pray for those that need it the most. Your mom is experiencing her own rock bottom. Her rock bottom does not have to be yours. Our home is open to you this Christmas and you are more than welcome to be here on that special day . . . but we just want to ask you why you would choose to stay at your best friend’s home rather than your mom’s?”
She muttered quietly, “Because my mom hates me and she only cares about herself.”
“No one hates you. Never say that. We will pray for your mom and you. Do you know what you can get us for Christmas?”
“What?”
“Be with your mom during your birthday and Christmas. We only get one mom and being there to show we love them is the best gift a mom can ever receive. Do you know how many moms who have lost a child? Do you know how many children have lost their moms? Christmas only comes one time per year and our years on this planet are limited. While you might not see it now, choosing to be there with your mom on Christmas is the best present you will ever give her. Also, do not worry about your Christmas presents or birthday presents, we have it covered. Your mom is young and your mom may make mistakes that she absolutely regrets, even if she won’t tell you. She loves you and she will never stop loving you. As painful as it may be, please forgive her and stay with her for Christmas OK?”
“OK.”
“Do not worry for God loves you, your mom loves you, your dad loves you, we love you. Now go out and play in the snow OK?”
“OK.”
Sometimes just a little reminder of love can make all the difference in a person’s outlook in life. Where there’s kindness there’s hope. And when there’s hope there’s faith. And kids need all the faith they can get. I wish you and your family the kindest Christmas ever.
Ian Garrison
grrrgraphics.com
December 10, 2023