I have often thought of myself as one with a twisted sense of humor – but THESE headlines? (and so many more). It all goes to show just how sexual this nation has become. Each of the above are actual headlines over the latest Wiener-sexting scandal – and most come from the mainstream media, who already have their type set for “Wiener Pulls Out!”

• Weiner drops cover

• Weiner goes soft…

• Weiner can’t stay up

• Weiner blows his lead

• Polls show Weiner lead shrinking

But what the heck, if New Yawk really wants him, they’ll just be replacing a dick who doesn’t want you drinking large sodas, with a wiener with a foot-long fetish (his own).

While all of this is going on, which of course (finally) takes the news headlines off of the racially charged Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman story, the Speaker of the House continues to brag and threaten how is he is going to bring the administration to a halt. Boehner has now become silent (along with McConnell) on the defunding of the biggest fiasco in the nation’s history – O’Bombacare. Hell – it’s going to take a Congressional proctologist to operate on this one – or an OB/GYN (bring back Ron Paul). Problem is – Boehner always goes limp in the end. It seems as if the last man standing from the House of Representatives is now retired; Barney Frank. Didn’t like his brand of politics, but he at least had a pair of testicles swinging below his weiner – and we didn’t even have to look at pictures of it.

BREAKING NEWS
Obama talked earlier this year of a Democratic takeover of the House, but instead his party is now in danger of losing the Senate. The latest blow to their hopes of keeping the upper chamber came from former Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer (D),who opted out of a race to replace retiring Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.) Schweitzer’s decision deflated the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee’s annual retreat on Martha’s Vineyard, where many senators heard the news. “People were very upset,”

Cheese-us – this kind of news must suck! But wait – there’s more – call NOW…

On Wednesday last, O’Bomba the Jungle Organizer began his weekly campaign at the University of Hard Knox in Illinois, and what did he do? – prevented young Republican students from attending his hour and four minute babble, referred to as an ‘economic speech.’ Sometime during his rambling, he reiterated the Carney’s words of the day before, where he said that, “we are distracted by phony scandals”.

Scandals? Well George White isn’t alive any longer, so we’ll just have to see what in the world of wide, wide bathroom stance he must be denying:

Benghazi Scandal
Where four American citizens and public servants were abandoned by their government and left to roast like a Hebrew National on a Weber. But, what the difference did it make?

Fast and Furious
You forgot this one didn’t you?

The IRS Scandal
Where conservative groups (opposition to the O’Bomba administration) applying for tax-exempt status were targeted by the Internal Rectum Service, along with donors to the Republican cause (such as Gibson Guitar); much the same way Chrysler dealerships owned by Republican donors were targeted by the O’Bombanites during the great U. S. automobile manufacturers bailout of ought-nine. This beat has gone on for a long time.

It’s a good thing that it wasn’t the meat-packers industry that had needed a bailout back then – it would have been hard to beat!

Department of Energy
U.S. Department of Energy (DOE) officials ordered employees not to talk to Congress about its investigation into claims of prohibited hiring practices and allegations of whistleblower retaliation.

Breaking: Latest Headlines

• Wiener Vows to Stick it Out

• Wiener Blows Off Pelosi

• Huma Can’t Strengthen Wiener

• Wiener in a Pickle

• Wiener Exposed

• Wiener’s Second Coming

• “I’m going to beat this!”

The AP
Where it was discovered that O’Bomba’s Justice Department collected phone data on dozens of AP reporters as part of a national security leak investigation. Where was the the U.S. Attorney General – you know – the Holder of O’Bomba’s wiener. This guy wasn’t around to open investigations into harassment at the voting polls in 2008, where Crackers were intimidated by members of the New Black Panther Party.

The George Zimmerman verdict
Where both O’Bomba and Holder whooped the race card up to a frenzy – and gave the New Black Panthers a pass again – even after its leader threatened human reprisal for the acquittal of Zimmerman.

BREAKING NEWS: Pelosi Changes Her Tune on Weiner Scandal
I guess that she has become a flautist and is blowing a different tune today…

Of course all of this is merely and extension of what goes on at the airport each time you check in and go through security. I believe that some folks fly just to get felt up and probed. They are so used to having it shoved up their bung-hole by ALL of our elected wieners, that it just doesn’t matter anymore.

Well, the good news is that in just a few short years, the O’Bomba administration will be gone, only to be replaced with the nation’s first female president. The scandals will be all gone and we’ll have no more wieners to worry about.

Oh no… If Huma and Hillary Were Emailing…

So in the scheme of things, your forgive your husband for exposing his wiener to the world, having phone sex with multitudes of somewhat vulnerable and overweight porkers, while having full intent to further screw his constituents. Meanwhile, you are on a dual payroll, working for your boss – possibly pimping for her, and picking up an extra $355,000 on the side – for Lord knows what. What are you looking forward to?

Oh, I get it – male or female – you folks get what you want – and we all get the wiener – one way or another.

Without Apology I am,

Jeffrey Bennett

~ About the Author ~
A veteran of Viet Nam, student of history (both American and film), Jeffrey Bennett has broadcast for over 24 years years as host of various programs and has been considered the voice of reason on the alternative media – providing a unique and distinctive broadcast style, including topics such as health and wellness, news, financial well-being, political satire (with a twist), education and editorial commentary on current events through the teaching of history. In addition, he is the CEO of Kettle Moraine, Ltd.